Over the years, I have written many posts dedicated to my middle daughter.

To My Almost Middle Child

To My Almost Middle Child…I Still See You

To My Force of a Daughter…I See You

There is a pattern…a need to let this kid know you see her. Maybe that comes with being a middle child. Adi lets us know when she doesn’t feel seen and when the world seems unfair.

She also knows who she is and stands by it. For many years now, at bedtime, Adi gets a “one finger touch.” As she has approached her twelfth birthday, she has let me know she is not too old to be tucked in, but she doesn’t want to be hugged or kissed goodnight. A one-finger touch is enough. This ritual has expanded to her friends, who now hold up a finger when they want to greet her or when they would have otherwise hugged a friend.

But this year, I get glimpses into who she is becoming. She is kind in her own quiet ways. When I’ve reminded her to be her best self at school, she replies, “I always am,.” And even though this statement is usually followed by an eye roll, I believe her. She’s also loyal. She is a best friend to her youngest sister, Rose, and I know if she ever needed to, she’d have her back no questions asked.

Sometimes I wonder if being in the middle, she doesn’t get enough of this…days where she gets to be the center of attention. Adi has started declaring certain days, “My special day.” The day she scored a goal in her soccer game, she requested cake and asked if she could stay up late, “It’s my special day.”

Today is Adi’s birthday. When she woke up, I attempted to give her just the right amount of attention. It’s not always easy to get it “just right” with Adi. But when she woke up, her biggest smile was plastered on her face and I could tell she appreciated all the efforts me made to make her feel special.

I’m finishing this post, after a family dinner out followed by cake back at home. I wish I tallied how many times Adi reminded us that this was her “special day.” I know she didn’t want it to end.

I’ll keep looking for ways to make her feel special, even when it isn’t her special day.