This is the first day of the challenge I have struggled to write. Every year, for the last eight challenges, I have written a birthday slice for my mom on March 9th. I’ve wracked my brain all day, really all week if I’m being honest. Could I write a funny memory or a life lesson I learned from her? Could I ask my kids to recount their favorite memories as I’ve done in years past? Nothing has felt quite right.
This is a common feeling when it comes to my mom’s birthday. I never feel like I can find the right words or the right gifts to express what I want to say or what I want her to know. It never feels like enough.
Then I got to thinking, what is it that I really want to say or for her to know. I keep coming back to my most common phrase in my coaching work, the thing I work with teachers to say through their work with kids, and what I strive to show the teachers I work with- “I see you.”
Somewhere in my brain wracking, I began thinking about my mom’s age and what stage of life we were in when she was my age now. When my mom was my age, it was around the time I was finishing high school. I remember her crying on college tours and feeling like I had to support her through that stage of our lives.
Being a mom myself now, I can look back on that time and other periods of growing up with a new perspective. I can see how my mom acted with love, always trying to do everything she could for us. I know now, that job isn’t easy.
If I could take back all the times I complained about what was for dinner or having to put my laundry away, I would because I know how much was on her plate each and every day. I didn’t realize it then.
Even now, when I need help with my kids, my mom never hesitates to lend a hand…even though her plate remains pretty full. She continues to give all that she can to those around her.
So today, on her birthday, when my words don’t feel adequate or right, I hope my mom knows that I see her, love her, and appreciate her.
Where There Is Joy 
oooh I love the idea of writing a birthday tribute during this month. This post reminded me of that poem where the speaker is realizing later how much work his father did, and how that work lived in “austere and lonely offices.” I love that phrase.
LikeLike
Oh! I love it too. Thank you for sharing!
LikeLike
I know how y ou feel about birthday tributes because I’m already worrying about one that comes up this month. Like you for March 9, every year, March 19 has been a tribute. I think you captured the love and gratitude! It’s a beautiful expression of how you see and appreciate your mom.
LikeLike
You just wrote and you did it! having perspective makes all the difference “I know now, that it isn’t easy”. So glad you kept up with the tradition of a tribute to your Mom, you are like her in always doing all you can for everyone around you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
you did it! You kept up with the tribute tradition! Having perspective makes all the difference “I know now, it isn’t easy”. You are like your Mom in that you also do all you can to help everyone around you every day! Happy Birthday Mom!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your post makes MY momma heart burst and is a reminder of how much moms do for us even if we sometimes complain
LikeLike
This is just beautiful! Can you even imagine reading something like this from your own children? You see her. You love her. You appreciate (and empathize) with her. She will be deeply touched by this post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I thought about your mom yesterday because she has her bday close to Al. I know she must live your sweet tributes. She is seen by so many!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you did the birthday tribute just fine. I’m finding myself asking if I did enough celebrating and “seeing” of my mom. Maybe those college tour moments were really helpful because they changed your perspective at a relatively early age. I think it took me much longer to get out of the teenage kid view of my parents…as in, way less appreciative than I should have been. It wasn’t until they seemed much more fragile and impermanent that my perspective changed. Another example of boys (or at least this one) being slower to mature.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jessica,
Those three words, “I see you,” are everything. That’s what we all want. I bet your mom knows you see her as she sees you, too. You sound like a normal teen to me. The things you describe about that time in life are necessary to growth. I know this in part because I never had the kind of relationship w/ my mom (and stepmom) you have, and because my father was so ill and died young, I had to take on lots of adult responsibilities, which means much of my adolescents did not manifest itself at the appropriate chronological time. Happy birthday to your mom.
LikeLike
Happy birthday Ida! I see you… I too am starting to think of a mother’s happy birthday slice for later this week. We’ll see what I come up with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are lucky that your mom is still here to read your words and know all she means to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this!! I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. Someone I follow posted for their mom and said ‘Sometimes I forget that this is also my mom’s first time living.’ It’s such a nice and comforting thought – this is all of our first and only life 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person