A few weeks ago, my oldest daughter Wren, attended an intense week of dance training. Her studio hosts teachers from the West Coast for 8 hours of dancing each day for four days. Everyone is always on their A game for “West Coast” and Wren is often exhausted after her long days of dancing. Each day when we picked her up, I cautioned her sisters not to ask too many questions. “Just let her tell us what she wants, when she’s ready.” I knew we had to tread lightly.

Wren’s birthday happened to fall during the “West Coast” week. When we picked her up that afternoon, she was still riding the high from all the attention she got from her friends on her special day. Sometimes, I have to remind her to start by sharing something good on our drives home. She can often lead with what didn’t go great. But this day needed no such reminders.

As soon as Wren got in the car, she started right in with her favorite part of the day. “Karine’s class was my favorite.” She went on to explain the moves and feedback the teacher gave. “She was funny mom, even when she gave corrections…and she liked me.”

There was something about the way she said that last bit. “…and she liked me,” that caught my attention. From the rest of Wren’s car ride rambling, I gathered that this meant that the teacher had noticed her. From other car ride stories, I have learned that the dance kids often know who the teachers’ favorites are. They pick up on who gets attention, extra feedback and praise-not unlike the classroom.

This made me think of Natalie Louis’ words from many years ago when she was working with a group of teachers on implementing small-group instruction. She said something that has stayed with me. “Kids just want to be seen-Have us say to them, ‘I see you.’ Isn’t that true for all of us?”

Wren’s recounting of her day at dance reminded me how important it is to make sure that we see all kids-that they all get to experience “…and she liked me,” and to be seen.