From the moment you were born
I made sure to let you know
how lucky you were
to have such beautiful curls
Others let you know too
Strangers stopped to say,
“what pretty hair you have”
My heart broke today
when you declared
“I hate my hair…”
As you struggled to tame it into a bun
sleek and fit for ballet
“it’s not good enough”
you cried, tears streaming down your cheeks
You are wrong my sweet girl
Your hair is not the problem
Last year, my daughters’ dance studio emailed to announce that dancers could now decide to wear ballet pink tights or skin-color tights and shoes. Until then, I had never thought about the color of their dance tights. I’ve read a little more since then and have learned about the origin of pink tights and marginalized communities in the dance world. Today’s hair dilemma had me wondering who those sleek buns were designed for…
Where There Is Joy 
Oh, yes. When I taught at our magnet school for the arts, both the tights and the hair became a flash point. There *are* ways to be inclusive in ballet – there really are! I can’t find the exact site our dancers used, but here’s one with some good alternatives to the classic ballerina bun: https://www.browngirlsdoballet.com/blog/2021/2/4/9xorlo4mx79e9ppstjvkgrzx1kvxap
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Thank you for this. ❤️
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😦 Now I’m curious about the history of pink tights.
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I am struck by your words and the story that lies between them. The pain of growing up in our world, and guiding this growing as parents, is palpable…on so many levels. Thank you for this Slice.
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You remind us of what story is not being told. Who benefits? Who does not? You remind me how we need to persevere as we ALWAYS ask these questions. As we are ALL good enough! So much to learn as we navigate each day, even during a fun ballet class.
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Wowzer. What a powerful piece written simplistically yet carrying a powerful message and many question. Love that girl of yours and, as Sally said, we are ALL good enough as we are! xoxo
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It’s time to redefine ballerina hair. Your daughter can lead the way! Her hair is beautiful, and so is she!
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Big feelings!
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First, I love your daughter’s hair. It is amazing. Carole Lundstrum has a fantastic picture book about hair. I think the title is My Amazing Hair, or something like that. Even though I’ve never read anything about ballerina tights, I suspect they’re colonial and racist. 😑 As others say, enough of that BS.
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