Things fall apart.

In my role, as literacy coach, I often find myself cheering others on. I’m there to champion the work, root for the troops when things get hard, listen hard for the opportunities to celebrate, and honor the challenges while being ready to assist in finding solutions.

I feel good when I’m lifting others up.

This past week, I found myself on the other side, in need of an intervention.

It started with another rocky morning at home, with my own kids. Big emotions spewed from my older daughters. Hurtful words from just one. I was left feeling defeated and at a loss for what to do next.

As the stars aligned, I found myself walking into school with the school psychologist that morning. I asked for some tips, shed a few tears, and walked into my office, trying to leave my morning at the door.

My puffy eyes gave me away to my first visitor of the morning. Leigh-ann came into borrow a book and got more than she bargained for. “What’s wrong?” She asked, concern taking over her face.

“Just a rough morning at home,” I replied trying to brush it off.

Leigh-ann said all the right things, asked how she could help, but in that moment, it all fell apart. She held out her arms, to give me a hug and I’m sure I let out a sob.

As she released me, I apologized for being such a mess.

“Actually,” she said, “I’m glad to be on this end with you. You’re always there for us. It’s kind of nice to see that you’re human too.”

I laughed. “If you only knew…” I replied.

It feels good to lift others up. It feels just as good to know that there are others there ready and willing to lift me up when I need it.

Published by Jessica Carey

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I'm a mom of three daughters and a literacy coach in CT. I love to learn and share with others.

21 thoughts on “Things fall apart.”

  1. I feel you on so many levels. Thank you for sharing this deeply human slice. Wow, I’m almost in tears reading it. I’m glad you found comfort and support when and where you needed it. Stars aligned and it’s also probably no accident that precisely the right colleague showed up at just the right time.

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  2. Your slice shows the human side of what we do as coaches. Often, it is somehow expected that we never struggle and always hold everything together. But I imagine this moment could make you more “real” for your colleagues, maybe? The way you incorporated the sympathy and support shown by your colleague is so touching- shows the level of respect you must enjoy at your school.

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  3. A true slice with a great reminder to us all! As your title says, things fall apart, and when they do, friends and colleagues can be there for you to get you through! Yay Leigh-Ann, Yay you for letting it all out! Thanks for sharing!
    “honor the challenges while being ready to assist in finding solutions.” LOVE this line!

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  5. You know how much you are appreciated at work with friends. I’m sure you know in your heart that you are appreciated at home too. “This, too, shall pass.”

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  6. “I feel good when I’m lifting others up.”

    This is what you do for so many of us – lift us up, help us out, give us a positive push, find the joy. But you can’t always be the lifter. Sometimes you need lifting. I think it’s good that your colleagues saw that. I agree with Lanny when he says it can make you more real.

    I wish you had called me, You know I’m always there when you need some lifting! Hang in there. You take on so much between your family, work, and friends.

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  8. Oh man. Not being on a team sometimes makes a literacy coach feel a little isolated and life does happen outside school as well. You have a lot going on. When we are in the fray, we think it’s about us, no one else has these struggles. Every parent has shared similar moments. Sharing them does help even if just hearing it laid out leads us to our own solutions. It’s what we do as coaches with teachers. Making ourselves less perfect probably draws more of them to share their vulnerability as well.

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  9. Sometimes it’s too easy as a coach to be so caught up in the “helping” that we bury our own needs. I love how you’ve captured the way others so quickly stepped in to support you when you needed it!

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  11. “She held out her arms, to give me a hug and I’m sure I let out a sob.” You are human. That’s the absolute beauty of life. You have grace in the sheer fact that you are human. Blessings on your journey through your “muddy” season. There is joy in this, too. What a great post.

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  13. I hate starting the morning like that, your slice described beautifully something that happens to all of us with children. It’s difficult when we’re rushing off to work and school and have no time to resolve things. So glad you had support during one of those days.

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  14. Oh yes. I am glad that you were able to find support when you needed it. It can be so hard to keep all the balls in the air, smiling as we juggle. It can be such a relief when we realize that it’s ok if we drop one now and then. Sending you a hug – for that time and for the next one.

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  15. Sorry about the bad morning, but glad that Leigh-ann was there. Know that there are a lot of us here who will be there. Is that enough heres and theres in a sentence?

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  16. I completely understood every word you wrote except the part about daughters. Letting people “in” is hard, but you allowed your friend to help. I am sure she was so happy to be the one you let “in” that morning. Even though it is hard to do so, it is nice knowing there is someone there to lean on during those times.

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  17. Wow! I’ve been there with colleagues, and it’s both embarrassing, and comforting to know those you work with and spend so much time with truly care about you as a person. Thanks for sharing such a vulnerable moment!

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